There was also a picture of Jesus over the TV.
So after all the best intentions of going to bed early on Thursday night so I could wake up early on Friday morning to get of town quickly, I ended up working until almost one in the morning. When I got into to Jeremy’s apartment, I found him and Jami sitting at the table and they were totally wasted. Somehow we managed to get up at the break of dawn the next morning and get in a car to the Newark airport to rent our car. Megan and Jon showed up quickly from Philly. Megan instantly became the star person of the trip by bringing delicioius sandwiches and chips and homemade (!) brownies, all of which were delicious. By the time we hit Parsipanny, NJ (which created endless snickering), we made our first of many pitstops. This one was for croissanwiches and Dunkin Donuts coffee. I coined the term ‘Fanny-hole’ as a new polite insult and we were convinced that we were the funnest group of people ever to go on a roadtrip.
We made a lot of pit stops, which created endless bitching from Jami. But each time was kinda great. In Elmira, NY, we drove past Megan’s childhood mall and got to read a very long poem posted on the bathroom window of a gas station on the theme of not selling beer to minors. It was very tempting not to steal it. I remember one line in particular about, ‘If I sell minors beer then I’m the goon.’ And at another stop, we picked up one of those True Confessions type magazines that had articles with titles like ‘My Husband and I Sleep With Men’ and ‘I Killed a Handicap Child’. Everyone was really excited, but all the articles were devoid of any nasty sex or murder and it turned out to be a Christian magazine. Puke.
It was kind of a big jumble once we got to the cabins. Katherine, Rachel, Bobby and Dan were already there and partying and Patrick, Kelly and a lot of her family were there as well. Plus it was POURING raining. We all hustled off to dinner and drinks and then a lot of dancing.
Jeremy’s game-playing often leads to fits.
I remember waking up the next morning and my knees really hurt from dancing so hard the night before. Jeremy and I shared a room with Megan, who seemed pretty shell-shocked from all the snoring. Everyone agreed that Patrick and Kelly both looked skinny and great and not that nervous, considering that the weather felt very hurricane-esque for the weekend of their outdoor wedding. Later a bunch of people headed out to Denny’s and my group ended up at Bob Evans, which was pretty forgettable.
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On Saturday night, before the next wedding party-related event, our entire NY group went to a nearbye pizza place called, ‘Pizza Village’. Bobby kept singing this song called ‘Rape and pillage at the Pizza Village!’ to a hip hop beat. I think, what, 18 of us ate dinner and had 4 or 5 pitchers of beer for around 55 bucks. It was shocking. It was pretty interesting being in a tiny town where no one’s around and everything is so cheap. Because there was such a large group from New York, it felt like whatever bar or restaurant we showed up at, we took over.
You can see everyone in the car patiently waiting for me to finish taking pictures of kitschy shit.
I terrorized everyone in my car because I constantly wanted to stop and poke around and take pictures of weird signs and whatnot. We did hit a couple of stores on the way out of town. And on Sunday, we hit paydirt by going to this thriftstore in Dunkirk called Bum’s Bargains. As I pulled in front, everyone groaned when we saw the ‘Closed’ sign in the front window. Then a teenage kid came out from inside with a big flag that said ‘Open’ and everybody cheered. I found an ancient chemistry set metal case, old greeting cards from the sixities, ancient coasters, Elvira tie-in press-on nails and a refrigerator magnet of a pig in a chef’s hat and apron serving a roasted chicken. I love when animals are happy to be serving themselves as food, so I liked the variation that the pig is serving the chicken. But I’m still rather bitter than Dan made the ultimate score, by finding a ‘Le Bag’ tote bag in perfect condition.
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These are joke flavors of ice cream made annually by the Aldrich Beef and Dairy Parlor.
“When you want to share your heart and god’s love…”
Rock skipping became a big part of the trip.
These big pieces of shale worked best.
The ceremony was very touching and I think all of us started crying during the vows. Jeremy and I were especially moved by the choice to use the song ‘Dream Operator’ (instrumental) from the True Stories soundtrack. That’s when I started crying. One of my favorite things was how beautiful the location looked when dusk started setting in. The space where the reception was held was very peach/pink from paper lanterns and it looked really cool contrasted against the deep greens/blues from the trees outside. The picture above shows it pretty well.
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On the ride back to Newark, my group kept themselves pretty entertained by reading this ’swingers’ magazine from Florida from 1979. The personal ads were amazing and the fiction was wonderfully shockingly non-erotic, though the phrase ‘pussy-covered panties’ will be burned in my mind for the rest of my life. By unanimous decision, we stopped at Red Lobster for lunch and all ate a sickening amount of fried, buttery seafood and as a bonus, got to witness a pretty entertaining domestic meltdown from a table nearbye.
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